Worries

Ugh.

You would think that looking at lots of lovely knittings would make me feel all inspired and wanting to knit and learn more and so on.

Instead, it's making me depressed that I am not that good and just following free patterns and will never be that good and am missing out on all the tips and tricks I should know and will forever be mediocre at this. Self-pity, self-loathing mode, ON.

Probably because these wristies are not working out how I want them to. I am afraid they're too small I am afraid they won't fit around I am afraid they suck and oh god why am I offering a thing that sucks as a gift to someone she'll just feel guilty if she doesn't wear them because they don't fit or she doesn't like them or oh lord attack of anxiety and feelings of worthlessness.


What I really need to do is start working on my thesis. Then perhaps I will feel more accomplished and can turn to knitting as relaxation instead of the main thing I do in a day.
I used to love lazy do-nothing-but-read-and-relax summers. Now I feel guilty and bored and stir crazy. Boo to growing up, I say. Boo.